Firefly. For Kicks.

As always: no ownership, just love. Spoilers for film/tv show if y'all squint. Jayne/Simon because, hey, why not. Sick!fic, with Simon caring, deeply, for our good friend.

Simon was having, what, in some cultures, might be called a tantrum. He wasn't throwing things, quite, but he was very tempted to punch a wall - metal bulkheads or no.

River just called him a yu bun duh idiot and had done with it.

But it wasn't River. It wasn't even Mal for all the headache the captain caused them with the alliance suddenly taking an interest in keeping the worlds from finding out about any more of their secrets.

It was Jayne.

And that, more than any other reason lately was why his bunk was a mess. Why the tzang-huo's stupid clothes were still around.

And why he even let the man clean any sort of gun near his hands.

Simon had walked into the infirmary to find the man half-dead on the bed. Not that uncommon. What had been uncommon had been the fact that Jayne hadn't been planet-side for the last three weeks and had fainted dead away without telling Simon three days before.

And Mal hadn't told him.

"I'm the ship's doctor." Simon had said it with heat. With intention of ripping the Captain's smirk off his face.

"And rightly so you are. But there's being the doctor, and being reasonable. With your relationship and all I figured I'd defer to Jayne here." With that, Mal had thumped the half-conscious body on the bed. "Figured he'd know the right of his own body."

"Seemed he didn't."

"No. Seems not."

"Which is why I need to know whenever things like this happen -"

"And you will doctor, you will. But we're about to land for the first time in a while, and unless you want Jayne here knocked around I better go help your sister with the piloting."

So Mal had escaped with his life, and Simon had been left seething after him, with the barbarian and a hun dan fever that wouldn't quit.

Simon was so going to make Jayne suffer for this one.

- -

It was hours later when Jayne finally managed to open his eyes. They felt puffy, heavy.

When he caught the doctor's... Simon's... expression - pissed was probably an understatement.

"When we you going to tell me you caught the sickness."

"Didn't rightly know I'd caught it until three days a-go."

"And you didn't think maybe, I might need to know."

"Figured I had it fixed." Jayne sniffed. Loudly. Pathetically.

"Figured wrong."

"Guess so."

The pause went too long.

"You do realize that illness is highly virulent."

"Guess so."

"And that in the last week -"

"Look, you don't gotta broadcast that I'm sly to every body around."

"-You've talked with everyone on board."


Simon arched an eyebrow.


"There's no cure, you see. This "cold" that was causing the discomfort there."

"Ta ma de. Mal's gonna kill us."


"Why do ya think I caught it? Had to go get that special jelly you wanted."

Simon's cheeks heated.

"Not that I can really says that I minded."

Simon punched Jayne.

"In the future."

Jayne breathed in a breath, grinning.

"I expect you to tell me of any ailments quickly."

"On it doc."

"...Until then?"

"Yeah, doc."

"I guess I can put that 'jelly' as you so put it, to good use."
- -
** Chinese from here.

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